And I remember a couple of movies where a character is speaking to the audience - "Bol do. Mann me mat rakhho."
In HUM TUM, a favourite movie of mine - at the end, (Karan)Saif Ali Khan, a cartoonist, addresses a media conference, on the occasion of the publication of his first novel the name of which is HUM TUM. He had fallen in and out of love with the same lady over a period of 10 years, he had everything possible under the sun, good and bad, except for a simple statement : " I love you".
He had tried to get the message across in many ways, or I should say "occasions" (some of them were hyper real, grandiose, funny) but each ended in disasters.
His lady love had got married in the meantime, and has been widowed too. Over a span of 10 years, Destiny made the two run across each other in a series of accidents, incidents and coincidences, they have come closer to each other listening to their own hearts, and everytime the simple message has failed to be put across before they have walked away. In the end, zero remains, discounting a myriad of memories, happy and traumatic, because the two hearts were not given a chance to speak and listen to each other.
In his autobiographical novel, he has written his story - a 10 year long story, in the span of which he has searched for the answer to "WHY?" (why didn't a relationship form over this period of time), and in the end he seems to have come upon the answer. And he has written a book.
"BOL DO. Tell it. Time doesn't wait for anybody or assure second chances, no matter what, when, where, and yes - Why." That's what he says in his reply to a question thrown in the media conference, and he tells the people what he has tried to tell a wider range of audience via his novel (which, thus, had become a necessity for him, and not just an intellectual exercise.) He says," tell. If you are in Love, tell her/him that. Let your heart have a voice, not a "heartbreak hotel" to cushion sufferings in silence, and unspoken truths.
This does not hold true only in love, but every relationship that involves respect & honesty of minds. It is an absolute necessity. "Be honest" is not what I'm trying to say.
That's all upto you, and sometimes you have to mull over that also (Yes I mean what I say in this blasphemous statement of mine). All I tell you all is : SPEAK YOUR HEART AND DO NOT WAIT.
In "Shakti" (another favourite movie of mine), I find the same truth being spoken though it is not what the movie pivots around. In a tragic tale of a gap which keeps on increasing over the movie, a son continues to move away to join the world of crime, from a father who is an honest police officer, and he has never compromised where upholding of justice is concerned - a factor that creates a misunderstanding and pushes his son further and further away.
But father and son always Loved each other. It's just that it never came to the surface to be expressed because of circumstantial priorities seized the situation. It comes to surface at the end of the movie. Dilip Kumar, the father, shoots down Amitabh Bachchan (the son) in a situation where law pursues crime.
In his last moments, a greivously wounded Bachchan tells a broken apart Dilip Kumar,"all this while, I had always loved you, Dad."
Dilip Kumar also speaks out his Truth and says, "I too loved you all this while, son." In the last sequence that makes me cry again and again, Bachchan's last words make a question," TO PAHELE KYUN NAHI BOLE DAD? Why didn't you say it before, Dad?"...
Why?
I mean why I'm writing all this today?
Though all questions don't have an answer even as life continues to be fair.
My own life and my own heart too have broken away a number of times in the past. Just like any other human being, I have been broken down very recently too.I am still recovering. But I am surviving, just like any other human being. I have kept on surviving every time.
I have to. I have to gather all the pieces and join them up just as I've done before each time. Because the next time, there has to be something to break into pieces.
I've wondered about all the possible reasons behind why I broke apart this time. The question tormented me.
Today I came to know why. Nope, no theatrics. One is slowly going beyonnd that. Hurt doesn't hurt me like before. Pain doesn't cause me pain like before.
The Ironical smile, quiet and stealthy, has crept into my face.
We have to live with Truth more often than not. A reality exists now at the beginning of which a Triviality, oh so so trifle. A reality that has its seeds in a Non- Reality. I shall move on with my dry smile, and yes of course, a voice that should remain silent forever.
Yet, I cannot but release this question free into the air where perhaps it will be floating aimlessly for ever.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE?"
Sent from my BlackBerry --------------------------------------------- Dr.Anirban Chaudhuri, Physician, Mumbai, India. http://jogyou963.blogspot.com Live Life on your own terms
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